How to Have Fun at a Party

Let's face it, having fun at a party is not as easy as it might seem. Here are some examples of these unfulfilled-fun-prone types of people, at least the ones with whom I've been lucky to be acquaited (or am.)

• "The Party Planner" - These are the slightly anal peeps who are perpetual party hosts, even if it's not their party! You know they are one if you always find them getting everyone drinks, preparing food, or planning planning planning. These people are cool because they want everyone to have fun, but they often don't end up having fun themselves. If you ask them the next day what they thought of the party, they will usually say, "Oh man, that was cool but tiring.." Yeah, you must be tired from running around being the party planner! The best way to make sure these people have some fun at their party is to make them settle down: subtle comments like..."HEY MAN, stop running around, settle down, and party with us" help.
• "The drunken amnesiac" - These people do have fun...lots of it...maybe way too much of it. But the main problem is that they don't remember their fun!! Yes, you were probably memory-deficient on your 21st bday! But for the drunken amnesiac this happens more than just on bdays. The obvious solution here is to drink less!! But if this isn't possible, technology can help you remember--video cameras, cameras, etc.). This might not be the best thing as you will remember things second hand. Another strategy is to immediately talk to somebody (who remembers things) the next morning and recount what exactly was going on. Hey, most of the time it's fun just to recount with friends stuff that happened the night before.
• "The dragged along" - These people are dragged along to a party that they would not have wanted to go to if they had a chance to decide. Since this is a case where it's sort of by definition that these people don't really have fun, the best way to have fun is to avoid going to the crappy party altogether. But i guess if you are totally screwed and have to go to that crappy party, you might be able to think outside the box and squeeze out a little fun...For example start playing that cell phone game you've been dying to beat. Or, slip away and start playing cell phone tag with your friends that you haven't talked to in so long. (I hope you brought your cell phone..)
• "The super partier" - These people party like crazy and slowly start not having fun because they do it too much that it starts getting old. After a while they end up going out, not having too much fun, and then find themselves pretending to have fun. In the end they just aren't having fun because they don't know what fun is anymore. It's sort of like when you have a favorite food and you keep eating it until you don't like it anymore. The super partier has eaten way too many parties and needs to eat something else before he/she can start enjoying the taste of parties again. It's all about a healthy diet.

NO OFFENSE BUT...

Ben Bernanke looks like an otter!!

BIG Ways to NOT Impress a First Date

Guys, let's face it, first impressions are the most important and on the first date, you gotta make sure you don't scare away the women with your college-day antics. It always pays to be more conservative and work a little harder at first and then ease into acting like you do around the guys. Even though many girls will let things that annoy them slide, why flirt with disaster when you don't have to? Here are some major things that you should NEVER EVER do.. EVER.. Negatively comment about the way her and/or any of her friends look, dress, or appear. Even if you are just "kidding", don't do it. Kidding about a girl's appearance is like trying to have a ballet recital on a dance floor full of broken glass...oh, you've never done that?...oh ok, bad analogy.

• Call people by the wrong names whom you have just met. I know it's tough since you meet so many people these days, it's just difficult to get people's names straight. You might be drunk and forget easily. Just remember the names, man! Make up an acronym, use a pneumonic device, or write it down on your hand, or something...just remember!
• Get so excited that you talk all the time. Most likely they don't care about the ten reasons Zidane is the best soccer player in the world. Well, unless they are a guy-girl (with whom you could probly do anything you wanted and they will be fine with it). Talking too much is even worse if you are cutting them off. Let them do some talking and try to listen to what they are saying. It's all about healthy dialogue.
• Eat or drink less than them. You are what you eat, so you should be eating (and drinking) alot.
• Wear funky socks. That don't match your shoes. Especially if they are white socks. And you are wearing dark shoes.
• Not have an opinion. If she asks you what you want to eat, what music you like, or what movie you want to watch...please don't say, "oh, i'm fine with anything..." Just express your opinion, especially if you really want to do something...in the end you'll be happier, even if she hates it. If you really are "fine with anything"...that's strange...maybe you should start watching mtv or reading some magazines and finding out alittle about yourself. Otherwise, she'll feel like she's dating a walking talking mirror.
• Be nice to everyone all night. I don't really understand this too much but it seems that at least once during the date, you should bring out your feisty self. Whether this is arguing with somebody who cut you off in traffic, or a forgetful waiter, or some other outside person who deserves it. Maybe girls like to see that you can rough somebody up once in a while.
• Play by the rules. Rules are meant to be broken. You only live once. Alls fair in love and war. So trite...but so true.
• Let things fester. Ok so you may have slipped and messed up with one of the above.. At this point, just talk about it and apologize if that's appropriate...The sooner you smooth over the rough spots, the better...otherwise it will just fester and fester and fester.

You know what? I'm just being facetious.

I think I speak for more than just myself when I say that it seems like people these days just don't know how to take a joke. Especially being a person who likes to entertain friends with jokes, it seems like there is always someone out there who will take offense.

But you know what? I'm just being facetious: I'm just kidding! I don't hate, I'm just trying to entertain...Give the kidders a break!!

Here are some really common examples of funny shit that some people don't take lightly...

• Weight. This is especially true around girls...if you even broach the topic your pretty much juggling a bunch of knives. You know what? Chill out, because being fat is genetic like being short and it's just the luck of the draw in the end...you gotta accept what you are dealt. And I'm a skinny dude--one time I was innocently talking about how difficult it was for me to swim since I have a higher body density due to my skinniness and this girl that was there, totally flipped out saying that I was being insensitive to people who might not be so "lucky"........my bad...i was just being facetious!!
• Race. I'm not gonna delve into this one but I'll just say that most of the time people are just innocently trying to be funny here...but obviously it's more complicated than that. One thing that I've noticed is that making fun of your own race is the safest way to go...
• Politics. Nobody really gets offended about making fun of people politically because it's just part of the beast, you know? Healthy debate...that's why John Stewart is the man...Oh yeah, George Bush is semi-retarded and really funny to watch...
• Gender. I think this controversial arena is the most natural of the ones listed, and by natural I mean genetically ingrained into our DNA. (Hope that wasn't redundant.) Whenever you make a gender based joke, you are pretty much poking fun at the other gender, but you know what? I think that's the best way to really try to understand the opposite sex... cause women are weird!!

Ok enough talk...PS. I definitely understand being on the other side of the equation...ie. being part of the group that is being ridiculed, and it really sucks but really i think it's mostly a matter of just trying to figure out if the the joke is really a result of bigotry or just a result of facetittyousness. Most of the time I think it's the latter.

Staind - Everything Changes

Here's a good one from Aaron Lewis doing what he does best with his pain. Streaming audio here.

Where to Party in Manhattan

New York is great because it has sooo much diversity, and diversity never hurts...well except for the diverse weather (I'd be fine with un-diverse warm weather). It's especially fun to go out in the city because each place is different and fun. Here are some good places to check out if you're in the mood for some fun. (I didn't include the addresses or info for these places but it's easy to google them.)

• Rock Candy - This place is relatively new (2-3 years old?) and full of attractive people. People-wise, it's a bit less diverse than normal. It's really hard to get in. You pretty much have to be a model or model-like, and/or buy a table for a couple hundred bucks. They have a huge disco ball in the middle which tries to be like studio 54, and they mix retro music with pop hip-hop. It's called rock candy because they sell it (all different types, i'm guessing) at the entrance.
• Prey - is pretty fun, sleek, very attractive bartender. It's long and skinny in terms of size, but the place is very nice. Sometimes there is no cover, ie. Thursday nights or late night...and those times it's the most fun. I don't completely remember the times we went here but I do remember that they were fun.
• Punch Bar & Grill - This place is cool because it has cool red lighting inside. Somewhat asian crowd--but that could just be biased because of who I went with. This place doesn't have a cover...but i could have just been lucky.
• Lotus - This place isn't that great but I included it so I could write about it. It's kinda expensive and was totally buzzing like 2 years ago because Britney Spears hung out here. They have a diverse mix of music--similar to Rock Candy. Crowd is similar in terms of diversity too, but vs. Rock Candy, I would say it's easier to get in --just pay the cover.
• Park - somewhere around 18th st and 10 Ave on the West side! I included general location of this bar because it is totally hard to find the address online or using 411 because they all tell you to go to Park Bar in Union Square which is way different and way crappy compared to this Park in the meatpacking district. Anyway, location aside this is a great place to start out a night! I think this place is always bumpin (before 1 am), it's free to get in--not too hard--just dress nicely. Don't be scared by the line outside because it doesn't take too long to get in. The place is pretty big inside and they have indoor trees!
• Sugarbar- this place is more downtown, somewhat tough to get in. I liked the way they have their furniture set up: They have like individual circular plush couches set up around small tables. This place made it to my list also because I met Captain Morgan there. He had some mean pirate girls with him too!
• La Souk - A nicer place in the lower east side. Most of the other places i've been to in this district have been more grungy hipster--but this place is less of that. It's a hooka bar i heard with belly dancers if you go there for dinner, but not sure because we went there later on in the night. This place is open til very late.
• Player's - This might not be online but it's like in the middle of Korea town next to Herald Square. It's a korean lounge, no dancing, with awesome awesome flavored soju. Drinking that stuff is like drinking spiked Korean kool-aid. They will give you a bowl of lychees if you (are a girl and) beg (i know because i say it happen). The crowd here is amost all asian (Korean.) The owner recently opened up a place two doors down called Maru, which could be worthwhile to checkout.

Ok, that's a good start...this list probably will be semi-outdated by the end of this year so hit up these places while they are still good.

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